Some Thoughts

It has been forever since I put up a new post. I haven't been blogging at all on any of my blogs. To say that I have a lot going on right now is an understatement! I am pretty much run down at this point.  I know that blogging before has really helped me get things off my chest and feel better, so I am going to try to do it regularly.  I think I will do a overhaul on both of my personal blogs too. This one will be mostly about my personal journey and medical stuff. Things are a bit out of control with my health right now, and it might be good to have a regular place to vent. Also documenting everything might give people a better idea of what Im going through, and possibly help someone going through something similar.  It is really hard having a chronic illness. It is even harder having many. Even though I have many family and friends that love me, its hard to not feel alone. Some people seem to judge me, or act like Im am being a big baby. Some people just cant handle it. Some people cant handle life that isnt sunshine and daisies.  I get a lot of unsolicited opinions and advice. In the near future, I may do a post on 'What Not To Say To Someone With Chronic Illness, And How To Help Instead'

Most of the time, I try to stay very positive. People who know me well, know that I often even joke about my health and how messed up it is. I would be lying though if I said it doesn't ever get to me, and that Im not totally freaked out by it.  Lately, it seems that I am constantly going to the dr, and I am not getting any good news. Trying to keep it all straight is hard...seeing a number of different drs/specialist, dealing with so many separate conditions, making sure that treatments don't interact, learning all about each condition, trying to find natural/alternative things to do for them.  Honestly, sometimes it is way to much to handle. Sometimes, when Im in an appt, I have to force myself to keep listening and pay attention. I almost just want to blank it all out and not hear it. Because sometimes when I really pay attention and think about everything, I get really scared and overwhelmed.   I don't want to sound like Im whining. I know things could always be worse ( I have stopped saying that out loud, however, because I feel its being mistaken as a challenge) I also believe that there are no mistakes and that there is a reason that I am walking this path. I do know that I have many blessings in my life as well. There are just somedays when it all gets to me.  

I have a lot of dr appts in the next few weeks, so I will try to post about all of them, and get more in depth about what is going on....